Triple Ginger Cookies

2 Nov

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Everyone should bake a batch of cookies for someone else, once.  And by “someone else” I don’t mean you eat a couple dozen and give your friends a couple.  That ain’t charity, that’s a convenient leftovers transference.  That’s a way more desirable version of the Seinfeld re-gift, not a genuinely good thing to do.

No, when I say “for someone else”, I mean exactly what I fucking say.  I mean the only touching you do of those cookies is from the baking sheet to some tupperware, into the hands of a neighbor, never to be seen again (except for the tupperware, that shit’s expensive, make sure you damn well retrieve that polyethylene treasure).

And yes, it’s a good thing to do because it’s a nice thing to do, because it gives you the gold ‘ol warm and/or fuzzies when you see someone you think is cool bite into something you baked with your own hands and flash that all-telling smile of warm, delicious satisfaction.

But that’s not why you do it, no.  You do it because it means you’re putting total, unadulterated trust in your cooking.  By not tasting the finished product and just…giving it to someone, you’re saying you don’t need to taste it.  You’re saying that what you pulled from that oven and birthed from flour and wooden spoon into the world is so goddamned glorious that you don’t need your tongue to taste it.  Your cooking knowledge did the tasting for you.  Your mind did the taste-test.  

That’s a level of confidence that can’t be touched.  Ever.

Bake up a batch of these Triple Ginger Cookies for someone, and get on that confidence.

Here’s what you need:

– 2 1/2 cups AP flour

– 1/3 cup minced crystallized ginger (it’ll be in the candy aisle, just ask someone who knows like they know where fancy stuff is)

– 1 1/2 teaspoons grated fresh ginger (Use a microplane grater for this, you’ll thank me later.  Also get a microplane damnit)

– 1 1/2 teaspoons ground ginger

– 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

– 1/2 teaspoon ground cloves

– 2 teaspoons baking soda

– 1/4 teaspoon salt

– 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) room temperature butter

– 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar

– 1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar

– 1 egg

– 1/4 mild-flavored molasses

– Extra sugar for rolling the dough (you’ll see)

Here’s how you do it:

First, preheat your oven to 350.

Whisk the flour, crystallized ginger, baking soda, and salt in a bowl.  Obviously the ginger isn’t going to “mix in” because it’s still semi-giant hunks of candy ginger, so just focus on getting the white stuff whisked together.

Put the butter in your stand mixer and beat it until its nice and creamy, about 2 minutes.

Next, beat in the light brown sugar first, then the dark brown sugar.  Or do the dark brown first, I don’t care.  This ain’t a racist kitchen.

Once both sugars are in there, beat them some more for 3 minutes on medium-high.

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Mix in the egg, molasses, both remaining gingers, cinnamon, and cloves.  Then add half the flour stuff in, mix it in on low, and add the other half.  And mix the other half too, obviously…otherwise you’re just gonna have a mound of stupid-looking flour on top of your cookie dough.

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Get a small bowl and pour some regular-ass white sugar in it.  Roll your dough into roughly tablespoon and a half-sized balls and roll those in the sugar, making sure you cover them completely, since nobody likes a half-assed cookie.

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Put the cookie balls on a couple baking sheets about 1 1/2 inches apart, then stick them in the oven, one on the top rack and one on the middle rack.  Bake for 8 minutes, switch them around, and bake for 7 more minutes.  When they’re just barely cracked and golden brown, you’re good to go.

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Throw the cookies on a cooling rack, and throw this week’s track on your stereo.  It’s LES from Childish Gambino:

Look, you’re no saint, and I’m not either.  You’re probably gonna have one or two or all of those cookies you just made.  It happens.

But trust me on this, if you resist the temptation, if you keep your mouth away from those fresh cookies and shove them right in the mouth of someone else, you’ll feel golden brown.  On the inside.  You know, where your feelings and stuff are.  And in a way, that’s the thing you want baked the most.  But you can totally eat like…four of those damn things next time you make them.

See you later, folks.

Recipe generously kind of stolen from:

http://www.epicurious.com/articlesguides/bestof/toprecipes/bestcookierecipes/recipes/food/views/Triple-Ginger-Cookies-356326

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5 Responses to “Triple Ginger Cookies”

  1. heather @ heatheromade November 21, 2013 at 5:06 am #

    Def trying these for the insanely delicious aspect as much as for the appreciation of the snarky instructions. Everyone should have a microplane, damnit.

    • Scott Greenberg November 21, 2013 at 5:10 am #

      I don’t know who you are…but I like you.

      • Heather @ Heather O Made November 21, 2013 at 11:17 pm #

        ha! cheers. i blog too…. but now i’m feeling inadequate in my wittiness. i found your blog via food52.com. keep up the banter & the recicpes!

      • Scott Greenberg November 24, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

        Oh cool, I’ll check it out. And will do!

      • Scott Greenberg November 24, 2013 at 10:07 pm #

        Also quit feeling inadequate. Waste of time.

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