Fresh Reviews #4: Zeitouni Grill

4 Apr

Zeitouni Mediterranean Grill

You know what I like?  Simplicity.  I don’t like it all the time (as evidenced by my entire blog) but it’s nice to know it exists.  It’s nice to know that I can drive a couple of minutes and get the food of some random country in its purest, unadulterated form.  When I want Greek food, I want Greek food, not some half-assed gyro where the pita’s too hard and falling apart, and the waiter announces its arrival as a “gye-roe”.  Nuh-uh.  That ain’t gonna cut it.

Zeitouni Grill is Mediterranean as hell, and that’s why it works.  All the music is Mediterranean (I’m not good enough to nail down the exact country, sorry I was raised in a 99.9999% white city), the decor’s Mediterranean, and the food’s definitely Mediterranean.  Not that these kinds of things can’t cross racial boundaries, but even I gotta admit it makes me feel a bit more secure ordering when the entire staff’s Greek, and not some American mother of four trying to get in touch with her inner high school field trip to Athens.

And yeah, the food…it’s good.  It’s really, really good.  They don’t have a lot, and they don’t need it, just because the five or six offerings they do have have been refined to perfection.  There’s not even a whole lot of variety within those select morsels: take a delicious piece of meat, hit it with some spices (especially that tasty, tasty cumin), garlic and citrus, grill it up and serve it with some pita and vegetables.  Or just make falafel.  But really, in your heart of hearts, do you need more than that?  Is your life so lacking that an absolutely fantastic shwarma won’t satisfy you?  …or a falafel?

That’s the review I’m giving of this place, right there.  If you don’t like Zeitouni Grill, there’s something wrong with your life.  That’s how good it is.  You either go get a gyro, right now, or you join the freaking Make a Wish Foundation or something.  I’m pretty sure the gyro’s gonna be way tastier.

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