I get it. You’re all hopped up on Andre and dreams and “this year’s gonna be different”s. Now you wake up a few days later, fresh off a lovely little hangover/head-abortion, and think “Hey. I’m gonna stop eating bacon. I’m not gonna be a fat-ass this time around. Really.”
The hell you are. We both know a scant month from now (and that’s assuming you’re one of the more dedicated resolution-trolls wandering under vast bridge of insincerity I get to see clogging up my Facebook feed every January) you’re gonna be right back in that Wendy’s shaming your way through a double cheeseburger and a side of fries.
Here’s what you do instead. Try something different. Eat something new. And I don’t mean that in an empowering, cleanse your spirit and start eating whole-grains kinda way, because quite frankly, I don’t give a damn whether your ass drops dead at 55 from an artery explosion. After all, there’s a ton of worse ways to die than that, right?
Just eat something you don’t usually eat. I don’t care what it is. Hunt down a food truck at the corner, close your eyes and point at the menu. Go to Tunisia and put something in your mouth you can’t pronounce. There’s way, way too many tasty things out there in the world, and most of us are gonna die knowing only their beloved #5 combo. I don’t buy into this self-improvement racket but…new things make you a better person. Even I gotta admit that much.
Here’s something new for you to try: Keaver & Brause, with Awake: