Part V: Dread Shame

15 Mar


Hospitality’s important.  So’s context.  That’s why I have to give a little bit of background to these Key Lime Cookies.  Because despite all my rallying against these other food blogs that think you have to “dear Diary” your recipe every damn time you wanna make a ham sandwich, you’re gonna read this and think it’ll start with a charming seaside bistro and a list of the top 10 reasons why sorbet reminds me of my kids.

Part of that’s true.  There’s a story behind these cookies, sure.  The difference is that I’m not gonna waste your time pontificating when I could be talking about eggs and sugar.  I will say that this recipe is a damn fine way to thank someone for letting them stay in your kickass house (nay, palace) on the beach.  A house filled with the coolest of people, no less.  If you find yourself heading to one of those, show up with a couple dozen cookies instead of an awkward smile and a duffel bag full of sad.  If not, make ’em anyway.  They’re delicious.


Here’s what you need:

-1 stick of butter, room temp and very softened

-1 and 1/4 cups sugar

-1 egg

-1 egg yolk

-2 key limes (yes, I know those aren’t key limes in the picture, don’t panic)

-2 cups AP flour

-1 teaspoon baking powder

-1/2 teaspoon salt

Here’s how you do it:


-First, whip up your butter and sugar until they’re nice and fluffed up.   The original recipe said not to microwave your butter.  I did it anyway.  Guess which one you should listen to.

 069  072

-Add the eggy parts (that’s the egg and a yolk, kids) and beat until creamy.

074  092

-Zest your limes and juice them.  Then throw it all in and mix until it’s combined.  You should end up with 1/4 cup juice and 2 teaspoons zest, for you sticklers out there.  You might have a little more zest, so you might want to measure.  But a little more won’t kill you.  Actually, a lot more won’t kill you.  It’s fucking zest.  Stop complaining.


– Stir in the dry stuff, mix well, and throw it in the fridge for an hour.  The original said to do this “until firm”, which I’m going to leave out because you’re not an idiot.  Why the fuck else would you put it in the fridge.  Jesus.


-Preheat your oven to 350.  Then, take the dough out, form balls with a cookie scoop and put them on a cookie sheet about an inch apart.  If you don’t have a cookie dough scoop,  get a spoon and pretend you do.  Try and make the balls about an inch, but don’t cry over it if they’re not exact.


-Bake for 11-12 minutes, transfer to a wire rack to cool, and shove ’em in your face.  If you really wanna be fancy you can dust some powdered sugar on top, or throw some of those crystally sugar sprinkles on before you bake them.  Technically you can do whatever you want, but it’s my blog, so listen to me if you want a suggestion that won’t make your cookies taste like shit.

Like I said before, we’re not doing some islandy luau garbage here.  Spring break is about new freshness, and that includes fresh beats.  Here’s a fresh one from Curren$y and Fiend: Flying Iron.

Don’t overthink it people.  Throw the frilly bullshit drink umbrellas in the trash, pop your beach ball, and just make some cookies.  Do it with some cool people too.  Shout out to EROS at Furman, they’re the cool people I ate them with.  Until next time: keep it fresh.

Recipe adapted from, and special thanks to the girlfriend for returning to her rightful place as photographer.


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